Funny Thing...

As I navigate this treacherous and winding road of Life, I find myself in an odd place.  It's somewhat murky, sometimes sunny, and just a titch scary at times.

I'm talking about Post-Menopausal Adulthood.

Unlike previous generations, or so it seems to me, there are more of us living this life who still have youngish children at home.  I have two teenagers, one of them a freshman at university, and trying to keep up with them is equal parts exhilarating and exhausting.  Last year, when they were both in high school, they were both in marching and concert bands, and my daughter was in choir as well as sundry honor societies.  Not only that, she was in the top performing bands and choirs, so her schedule was twice as packed as my son's.  Additionally, he was still studying martial arts at the time, so our family spent many, many nights going in opposite directions.  Family dinners were few and far between.

A few months ago, after the umpteenth time visiting my family practitioner with random aches, pains, and myriad weird symptoms over the course of 12 months, my physician looked at me and posed an interesting question.  "Do you think you might be depressed?"

Uh..................hmmmmmmm.............maybe?

"Do you live with an unusual amount of stress?" she continued.

My response was to break out into cynical laughter.  "Well, I have two teenagers...." I responded with an evil grin on my face.

The resulting action from this exchange was that I was put on a mild antidepressant, and you know what?

I now laugh from happiness rather than cynicism.
I'm not crying seemingly every other minute.
I can find joy in my life.
And I have started singing again, auditioning for and earning a part in a community, semi-professional chorale.

Wow.  What a difference.  I didn't even know I was living under a cloud until someone pointed it out to me.

Sometimes, we all need a little help.

Later daze...

I'm Still Grateful, but...

...I'm no longer going to keep a running total of my lists.  I'm going back to normal blogging.  :)

This morning, my darling daughter decided that because she didn't have a class until noon, and because there was nothing on my schedule, she wanted to hang out with me this morning and have me drive her down to campus.  Did I mention that campus is about 36 miles across town?  Yeah, but it's what a mom does, so I did.  I was just happy she wanted to hang out with me this morning.  The drive back was a bit hairy; a guy driving a delivery van through downtown decided he needed to be in my lane more than I did.  I avoided the collision, but it was a close encounter.  Whew!

Back to chorale rehearsal tomorrow night, and I'm still on the fence about it.  I can't quit, but I'm still not........fully engaged, as it were.  I'm singing the notes, but I'm not feeling it.  Tomorrow night we start rehearsing "The Messiah."  Perhaps then I will feel something...

Tomorrow is another day, filled with blessings and challenges.  I shall rise to the occasion.

Later daze...

Day 13 - I Think I'm Running Out of Gas

Sunday.  Day of rest and relaxation.  I had yet another lazy day because of this STUPID headache, but I managed to cook dinner.

1. I'm grateful that no one required anything of me today.
2. I'm grateful that I was able to sleep late this morning.
3. I'm grateful that what little work I did do for band database management today went smoothly and quickly.
4. I'm grateful that I spent the day hanging out with my family, especially with my daughter whose been so busy with activities at the university.
5. I'm grateful that my Pulmonary Hypertension seems to be at bay again today, despite not feeling my best.

Later daze...

Attitude Adjustment - Day 12

I took a lazy day today.  Higher humidity levels took a toll on my head and lungs, so I laid in bed most of the afternoon, watching mindless television.

I"m grateful for the following:

1. having my daughter home today;
2. having the freedom to take a lazy day;
3. that my son is feeling better today;
4. family movie night; and
5. graham crackers.

Later daze...

Attitude Adjustment - Day 11

There is a wall hanging that says friends come into your life for a reason and a season.  I believe that.  Eighteen years ago, I met a group of women who became the most important women in my life at the time.  They helped me to come to grips with becoming a full-time, stay-at-home mother, and they helped me see the sacredness in motherhood even in the thankless tasks like changing dirty diapers.

After a few years, our kids grew older, our lives didn't intersect any more, and we lost touch.  A few years ago, one of them entered my orbit again, and then recently another one did as well.  Tonight, four of us came together over dinner at a restaurant to share memories, experiences, and laughs.  It was a pleasant and easy-going evening, as if we had never lost touch.

Tonight I am grateful for the following:

1. Anne (even though she couldn't join us tonight);
2. Lisa;
3. Bernadette;
4. Renee; and
5. the chance to share food, fun, and Christ's love.

Later daze...

Attitude Adjustment - Day 10

Driving home from the high school tonight, I was able to open my windows and enjoy the breezes.  I keep bringing up the weather because it's highly unusual to have 75 degree nights in August in the desert.  Yippee!

I am grateful for these other blessings in my life today:

1. a short class day for my daughter, so I was able to spend some time with her this afternoon;
2. the chance to meet my son's teachers tonight at school;
3. being greeted warmly by old acquaintances;
4. easy-to-make dinners; and
5. laughter, because what's the point of it all if you can't laugh?

Later daze...

Attitude Adjustment - Day 9

There are so many things for which to be thankful, but my thoughts seem to be filled with nothing but the amazing rainfalls we've been getting.  We've received so much, in fact, that we've had some pretty severe flooding.  The desert is not accustomed to receiving five inches of rain in a single storm, so the ground, dry and parched, cannot absorb it quickly.  Rescues by brave first responders around the Valley dominate the newscasts.  Still, there are other good things in my life, so I list the following blessings:

1. a cessation from the campaign calls, at least for the day;
2. fairly easy music to learn for my first concert (only a few weeks away!);
3. social media, allowing me to be an introvert but still maintain important relationships;
4. another night of not cooking (thank you, Leo's Island BBQ!); and
5. an early night to bed.